Joy: How Do I Find It?
I’ve been known to be the jovial type. Joy was natural for me as a kid. I love being happy. Being upset makes me more upset. I try to avoid being upset at all costs. As soon as I see drama heading my way, I find a way to change the subject or get out of the conversation (unless it has to do with a t.v. show- then I love drama). I just really don’t like getting caught up in something when I’ve got plenty of other things to entertain me.
Last year was difficult though. The desire to stay away from my real feelings was not enough. I lost people that meant a lot to me, and each loss had its own ugliness. This time a year ago was the start of a horrible time in my life. I couldn’t escape it through trying to be joyful and happy all the time. I tried it. I tried it for months until a breakdown came that changed me.
This emotional breakdown forced me to learn how to accept that I can’t push away feelings. It was a great lesson indeed. By allowing the pain to be real, I got to have real joy. I let go of the me I wanted everyone else to see. I gained real friendships with other broken but safe people. I gained genuine moments with God. I got to see more of who God is in my anger with Him. I got to see more beauty in nature as I cried my eyes out at different nature reserves and along the back country roads.
Last year, I needed to accept the ugly in order to see the beauty. It amazes me how I can now see the beauty is evident in places right in front of me. Sometimes I even find it in the loss and grief. In fact, that’s the place I find the greatest beauty. Joy in- The real friendships—The beauty of treating yo’self—The beauty of hammocking and being in nature—And the beauty of rest: of saying “no” and taking care of my heart more.
You will find beauty, joy, laughs (probably pity laughs knowing my sense of humor compared to yours), and fun ideas for creating a life full of joy.
Thanks for reading!